Arrests, sexual assault cases, Madden curses, players getting paid, heavy water bottles, and injuries. Smells like football boys. With week 1 in the bag, let’s take a minute to overreact.

Game of the Week

No matchup really stood out as a nail-biter, but Challenge Me vs Ninerscomn4You had the closest point spread and were really well-matched at every position. Ultimately, Jesse got the upper hand at a few key positions.

Going into SNF, Q looked poised to keep it close, but Kupp’s 32 points put it out of reach, and Moody’s 26 points on MNF was the final nail in the coffin.

Coach of the Week

Me. I won. After a rough year (that didn’t happen), it’s great to be back in the W column—even if it was against a scrub team.

Also, I’m not giving it to Jose. He can’t keep getting away with it!

Beast(s) of the Week

Barkley and Kupp. Looks like Saquon settled in nicely with the Eagles, putting up 33.2 points on his debut, thanks to 3 total TDs—on a soccer field!

Kupp showed he’s not done yet with his 32-point performance. Look, I know I took Puka over him in the second round, but I had already committed to the Pukachu bit. No rAgrets. What’s wild is Kupp didn’t get picked up until the 35th overall pick. With Puka out, Kupp is gonna eat.

Honorable Mention: Josh Allen (31.18 pts)

Oof of the Week

Madden Curse. That’s right, the number 1 overall pick, Madden 25 cover darling, and physio table connoisseur, Christian McCaffrey was a late scratch for MNF. That left poor Alex with a big fat goose egg. And it’s looking like he may not play this week. Ouch

Honorable Mention: Puka Nacua 😢

Toilet Play of the Week

Look, I don't want to pile it on Alex, but LazyKillz had a shocker all around. He was the lowest-scoring team, and even if you ignore the fact that CMC got him zero points, almost all of his bench players outscored his starters (except for a stashed defense, lol).

Trade Block

You know the deal. If you want to publicly announce players you have on the trading block or players you want, just send me a text, and I'll be sure to include it in the weekly recap.

Standings

1st: Jose (Raider Nation) 1-0 😠

2nd: Amedalhi (Pukachu) 1-0 🙂

3rd: Jesse (Ninerscomn4You) 1-0

4th:  Bert (One Man Wolfpack) 1-0

5th: Frank Jr. (The FrankTheTank) 1-0

6th: Quang (Quanitovanchito) 0-1

7th: Mark (Challenge Me) 0-1

8th: Frank (Thee Captain Raider) 0-1

9th: Brad (Show Me Your TD’s) 0-1

10th: Alex (LazyKillz) 0-1 💩

F&$# You of the Week

  • Jose